it surprises me how very little material stuff matters in my head

and how much all the social/psychological crap matters. not to repeat myself, but i honestly wonder if my "followers"(lol at the term)of this blog got tired of all my complaining and shit because no one ever comments anymore. if you are one of these people of which i speak... i dont blame you, just so you know. i always figured i would scare people away if i ever actually opened up my head and let the contents hit the keyboard

thanks baby for your analogy. because its true and i hate that. i hate that youre always right and sometimes i appreciate it a LOT and sometimes it drives me crazy. youre one those people that fascinate me. you and him. except i cant ever know you. i know him. well, kind of at least.

silver drops of water that are worth absolutely nothing and you know they mean a thousand times more than your four karat. god i hate that thing though. your words hit me harder than i know they should and i wish someone would just punch me hard enough to knock some sense[s out] into me. im at the edge of the page, end of my rope, last of my ink, pit of my thoughts. you can see it and its ugly. i dont like being ugly and i think that you must not like me when im ugly either. sorry for being ugly

cant stop. wont stop. i must be dreaming