new record is hot

they say theres a common thread that binds us all. but what if i sewed you up with an uncommon one and then fell in l o v e with the scar

killing time

basically sucks. especially when your house temperature is practically below freezing. really wish i got cell reception at my house. for real. the loud-ness of this keyboard is driving me insane. my shoulders hurt. i compare too much. still waiting for you. hopefully youre not asleep or else this is mostly obsolete. my head feels not as lonely as i would have expected without music playing constantly inside it. i really cant figure out why songs stopped getting stuck in my head. feels later than it is. i guess because its winter, which means its extra quiet, plus everyone is hard asleep. like, cold meds and prescription pills hard. i truly wonder what it feels like to sleep that much. like, would it be good, or would i feel guilty for not getting up with the rest of the world. sometimes i want to hit myself for complaining about the insomnia so much, but mostly i just want to hit her for telling me i need to wake up three hours earlier to do work, to save her labor, because shes too tired all the time. she sleeps through the day every day. i dont even fucking sleep at night. i dont care if im a bitch about it, or even if its self-indused. i cant even understand that.

wow did not mean to rant just then. sorry. im sick of waiting for something that might not even be coming. i should probably just go to bed. ugh. please tell me something good about your day. i feel like listening, and i havent been doing much of it. i keep refreshing the page and nothing changes and im starting to feel like this is pointless.

i hate wanting anything this much. im also kind of hungry. how do those two thoughts even collaborate in my mind.

much love,
ro

ps that actually felt very genuine to type. odd. usually i kind of feel like im bullshitting everyone (or just exercizing my oxymoron skills) when i write that. not now. not at 11:36pm on december 5th of 2008. not right now.